What Do I Want To Be As I Grow Older?

I've been working in accounting forever, it seems. My love for math made it the perfect profession, an ideal job that I envisioned having indefinitely. Every time I create an Excel worksheet with tons of data and ideal pivot tables, it feels like acquiring a new pair of shoes or a purse—it's exhilarating. Another spreadsheet for the SharePoint is like another item for my closet.

However, lately, I've found myself in a state of reflection. It's not so much second-guessing as it is contemplating my growth. Perhaps this introspection stems from my experience of becoming a mother, which has added new dimensions to my life. Being a mom brings immense joy and a sense of adventure, but it also makes me reconsider my role as an accountant. The strict deadlines sometimes clash with the creative freedom I crave.

I thrive in creative environments. For me, creativity manifests in many ways, from organizing my room and arranging my books to curating my son's Amiibo collection. These small projects bring a sense of satisfaction and joy. My son's collection of roughly 40 Amiibos, previously collecting dust, became a vibrant display once I organized them. This not only transformed his room but also rekindled his interest in playing his Nintendo Switch.

I've often pondered my purpose and sought different perspectives from friends. My journey began with a passion for typography and calligraphy, viewing fonts as works of art. This love for design translated into creating invitations, and eventually greeting cards. I dreamed of selling unique, personalized greeting card sets because I believe each person deserves a message tailored to them.

Fast forward to today, and my creative pursuits have evolved. I no longer make greeting cards and the family newsletters are replaced by our family Facebook page. Now, I channel my creativity into not only supporting my son's science projects, but his YouTube aspirations, designing logos, and creating custom t-shirts for him. Although he's outgrown many of these shirts, they remain cherished memories of our creative journey together.

As I reflect on my path, from a teenage girl who knew exactly what she wanted to do, to now, where adventures with my son are my greatest joy, I find myself wondering about my future. What do I want to be as I grow older? And how do I translate it into providing for us financially? I envy those who have a clear sense of purpose; how do I embrace and have patience for my journey of discovery?

In the end, it's this blend of numbers and creativity that defines me. Whether through accounting, organizing, or designing, I find joy in the balance of structure and imagination. However, I have to be careful, I can also be overwhelmed by the quantity of it. As I continue to evolve, I look forward to embracing new adventures and discovering more about myself along the way.

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